"Oooooohh! I thought this was a law commercial!"
- Bails

"I regularly sniff chipmunks."
- Lo Mo

"Pistol whip him, Chappy. Give him a little knick knack paddy whack."
- rando lady, Happy Texas

"i had a french boyfriend for awhile but we broke up because i thought he was crazy. i think we'll be getting back together soon... (i say this jokingly but i'm also unfortunately kinda serious) also. i think i might have accidentally dined and dashed at a fondu restaurant last night. but i can't actually be sure since my friend and i have no recollection of what actually happened..."
- Ebonniks!

"I came here to murder you."
- Peter, Forgetting Sarah Marshall

"Hooked On Phonics worked for Othar."
- Lo Mo

"I am fluent in Spanish riddlery."
- DAN

"Negotiations are still under way with Chris O'Donnell and LL Cool J, who would play the two leads."
- Maxine Shen, "'NCIS,' Jr. Takes Shape"

"Wow, that's real crystal. Put-put-put it in your purse."
- Frank McAllister, Home Alone

"We call him Top Cat--TC for short."
- Lesley Anne Ivory, Meet My Cats

"You say you love rainbows but you don't know the colors."
- Lo Mo

"Bitch, you don't have a future."
- The Bride, Kill Bill: Vol. 2

"This is what you need to do--you need to sew your wild oats."
- E-ma

"It's the Amazing Race, Phyllis!"
- Michael Scott, The Office

What do friends do for one another?
"Help each other when hurt?"
- K

"Peanut butter...it fills the cracks of the heart."
- Paul Blart, Paul Blart: Mall Cop

"I always wanted to go out with a blind girl. I think it'd be really neat."
- Anonymous science teacher

"I need to tell you something. Did you know that banana is a number?"
- C

"I only eat things that are served in nests."
- Suzanne A.

"Move that gigantic cotton candy!"
- random guy, Super Troopers

"Blew his way to Scranton then to Cranston..."
- DK

"We never had enough to buy the plastic lawn donkey!"
- Marie St. G.

"Enjoy yourself, roam around. Don't break anything."
- President Barack Obama

"Communicating effectively is for girls."
- 8th grade boy

"I like to tape my thumbs to my hands to see what it would be like to be a dinosaur."
- Anonymous

"Workin' nine to five, what a way to make a livin'..."
- Dolly Parton

"How long have you been left-handed?"
- Lo Mo

"Frank, it was on the cart path. Why don't you try reading the rules, Shankopotamus."
- E*TRADE baby