"...I get older, they stay the same age."
- Wooderson, Dazed and Confused

"It says that we should drink Pedialyte."
- CSH

"Oh, I like your outfit, too. Except when I dress up like a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated."
- Elle Woods, Legally Blonde

"Keep your tits in tonight."
- EAY

"Yeah... she was adorable... fuckin' bitch."
- David, The 40-Year-Old Virgin

"Where are your pants, Denise?"
- BCT

"Im looking for someone who doesnt play games and doesnt try to wear the pants on the relationship."
- a match.com profile

"Excuse me! Where is the manager? I'm from the government, and I'm here to inspect your chicken nuggets!"
- Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock

"Though you might consider finishing school or having a good job to be “accomplishments” many white people view them as burdens. As such, they can only handle them for so long before they start talking about their need to “take a year off” to travel, volunteer, or work abroad...This way they are able to put off real life without the crippling derailment of a career or education."
- Stuff White People Like

"Music is saying life isn't that bad."
- Nathaniel Ayers

"I'm gonna get sick drunk tonight."
- RT3

"I've found you, you little minx..."
- EAY

"Damn! Look at her shakin' her sugar shakes."
- BCT

"Cool?!? That girl's an asshole!"
- lazy-eyed old lady

"Are you a unicorn?"
- Margaret Cho

"I'm like a Title I chapter for alcohol."
- BCT

"When in robe.."
- DAN

"Are you giving me a perm, Milwaukee?"
- EAY

"You went to Jared on that french dip!"
- Amy Brophy

"The elephant uses its toothbrush to use the paintbrush..."
- Lo Mo

"I can feel you tremble when we touch, and I feel the hand of fate, reaching out to both of us, there's a story in my eyes, turn the pages of desi-iiiiiiiiiire..."
- Survivor, I Can't Hold Back

"It would have been nice to get a last clutch of eggs from Cherry but Ben and Jerry do make a lovely couple.”
- Paul Stevens, warden of Arundel Wetland Centre in West Sussex

"...but i just realized i put in butter instead of milk. They'll just taste better now right?"
- JMB

"VHS VIP, Biotch."
- DAN

"I always check crotches."
- Mama Negrini

"What if I pledge to make every day more fun than the last?"
- Lo Mo

"I totally want to cut off your skin and wear it to my birthday...it's coming up."
- Hector, Blades of Glory

"Would somebody get me a noose? And this time, make it sturdy."
- Walter K.

"Get out of here, sharks."
- Made 'hip-hop dancer'

"I think my heart has adult ADD."
- DAN

"Devil's avocado here, Larry. I think people should freak the geek out!"
- Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock