"Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. Urine. It was urine."
- Dwight, The Office

"I could make you sterile."
- CSH

"They're my squishy boots."
- The Crack Fox, The Mighty Boosh

"Easy now, fuzzy little man peach. You ever drunk Bailey's from a shoe?"
- Old Gregg, The Mighty Boosh

"Who paid for that floor? Not me. No way. Never paid for no floor ever again. Not once. Not never. Nope. Who's chair is that?"
- Drinking out of Cups

"Just cause someone gave you the ketchup doesn't mean you have to like him...here...do you like me now?"
- CSH

"I'll save these for later."
- Kevin McAllister, Home Alone

"Light up the eyes, boys, light up the eyes!"
- Grandpa Mori Tanaka, 3 Ninjas

"Dear Teacher,

Over the years I've found that just about everyone I meet has a fond memory of Scholastic Book Clubs. Sitting on a parent's lap and choosing books together from the flyer... waiting impatiently for the book box... shouting with excitement when the book box finally arrived in the classroom! All of these wonderful memories are what make Scholastic Book Clubs a timeless experience—and one that is so much fun to share. That's why I wanted to let you know about a new Facebook group we've created called I Scholastic Book Clubs.

It's a place for you to talk about what Scholastic Book Clubs meant to you as a child, as well as how you use them in your classroom today. Or, you can just stop by and chat about great new books you've discovered... or old favorites... with booklovers like yourself. It's also a place where we at Scholastic Book Clubs can share with you the latest Book Clubs news, photos, videos, new books we love, and other things we've found on the Internet that we think might be of interest to you.

I would like to personally invite you to join the group. Just go to http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=80409534352 or copy and paste this link into your browser.

I hope to see you there!"

- Judy Newman, President, Scholastic Book Clubs

"Hey, Cat in the Hat, slide me five, brotha!"
- Steve

"The swans stay."
- CSH

"Um... I think he went to change his pants."
- BCT

"I drank this in Mexico, and now I'm wearing it."
- DAN

"I have to turn my phone off...no one can know this."
- RT

"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" - DAN
"No, it's stuck." - C
"You mean, it's stuck in your zipper?" - DAN
"No..." - C

"Mrs. Morris, I can't get 2 songs out of my head--Oh Cecilia and Ode to Joy."
- M

"Take some Advil...to cure my hangover...with my wine...as I keep drinking?"
- DAN

"I saw what you said."
- E. G-berg

"I am a laugh whore. You know I'll try anything to get one."
- DAN

"Yes. Arm the teachers. The only way to keep guns out of our classrooms is to put guns in our classrooms."
- Stephen Colbert

"For some reason I felt like filing my taxes would be like an orgasmic release of sexual chocolate or something..."
- RPH

"Oh! It was the clap and flash that did it!" - DAN
"I've gotten that before." - Lo Mo

"I'd love to see you...and your whispering eye."
- Danny, Role Models

"Keeled over...that's what KO stands for in boxing."
- Lo Mo

"So here's some advice I wish I woulda got when I was your age: Live every week like it's shark week."
- Tracy Jordan, 30 Rock

"Yes. Tell your mother I would love to mow her lawn."
- Bartleby Gaines, Accepted

"What's in the back?" - a guard
"Stuff...for elevators." - Jennifer Evans
The Shaft

"...like sexual harassment style...but I'll work it for the money."
- EAY

"His fuckin' ahhms broken!"
- lady at Bruins game

"They're just piggybacking off the success of Paul Blart."
- CSH